Post Fifty: Your Dallas Mavericks

Despite the Mavs' horrible performance late in the third and fourth quarters in last night's game against the Suns, I still believe, dammit.

Post Forty-Nine: Bragging on my Brother

My twin brother has been chosen by the graduating Senior class at A&M Consolidated to give the faculty address at the commencement ceremony on Friday, May 26th. I'm proud of him: he is obviously an excellent teacher, and has truly found his life's calling.

I haven't reached mine, cause mine involves being a rock star. But I digress.

Anyway, he has shared his commencement speech with me, and I wanted to post it here for posterity. So here it is:

Subway Sandwiches changed my life. Not in the sense that I lost 150 pounds by eating nothing but lettuce sandwiches for a year, but that it was Subway that played an integral role in my decision to become an English teacher.

An explanation is probably in order.

I had come to Texas A&M to become a veterinarian, but after 2 and a half years as a biomedical science major I discovered that getting into vet school apparently takes more than a “love of animals.” It also takes “good grades” and an “understanding of science.” So, after talking to my advisor about my chances of getting into vet school (he apologized for laughing after I told him my GPA), I did some soul-searching and came to the conclusion that I should select a major that would play to my academic strengths and interests: a love of reading, a talent at writing.

So I switched to Political Science.

Looking back I would think the word “science” in the name of the major would have been a deterrent…but the first meeting of the first political science class I attended was enough for me – I changed my major to English that afternoon and, for the remainder of my A&M career, actually enjoyed my classes. Reading five novels over the course of one semester? For one course? I loved it. Going to Sterling C. Evans Library and poring through the stacks, looking for sources to support my research papers? I actually looked forward to it. I had finally found my calling.

It was too bad I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. (Okay here comes the Subway part).

Now, throughout my college career I held a number of part-time jobs to provide for the basic necessities of college life – Double Dave’s; Freebirds; beer; you know -- the essentials. One such job was at Subway – I was a Sandwich Artist, meting out my masterpieces to the hungry masses.

It was my final semester at A&M, and at this point in my life I had determined that I would become a pastor; I would later spend seven of the coldest months of my life up in Minnesota figuring out that that was not my true calling. It was one event at Subway that helped me make that decision.

I was working the lunch shift one day late in the spring and we were busy, as usual. In walked this kid, probably about 14 or 15 years old, slowly making his way to the counter, holding a small piece of paper in his hand. He stood back a bit, looking from the paper in his hand to the menu above a few times, and then let me know what sandwich he wanted. I started making it for him and then got to point where I ask him what “fixins” he wanted on it. He looked back down at that piece of paper and then just handed it to me.

It was a completely different sandwich than the one he had ordered.

He couldn’t read.

I think at this point my stomach tied itself in a couple knots. Subway being busy, I went back to make the correct sandwich for him and fixed it up according to the instructions on the paper. I rang the sandwich up and handed it off to him. I watched him head toward the door. As he pushed open the door he hesitated and turned to look back at me – and just gave a bit of a shrug. Then he was gone.

And although he was gone he didn’t leave me. I thought about him the rest of the day, wondering what I could do. I went home that day and talked with my fiancé about him. I mentioned him in conversations with my parents and my friends, all of whom nodded solemnly and said it was too bad for that kid. It wasn’t enough, but at the end of the semester, I left Subway and College Station behind me bound for Minnesota and seminary.

Funny thing is, the kid followed me up there.

Throughout my time at seminary I struggled with whether I was truly called to the ministry. I did not hold the same enthusiasm for the classes I was taking up there as I did for my English courses back at A&M, and I spent much of my time in my dorm room thinking “Well, if I leave seminary, what do I do then?” The kid helped me answer that question. When I found myself asking “What will I do?” that day at Subway would often play again in my head. Eventually, the thought became too strong to ignore – I was being led, if not outright pushed, to teaching. (Did I mention it was cold up there? I’d walk outside and my nose hairs would freeze – it’s a unique sensation).

In truth, I had never considered teaching. My own high school experience consisted of me attempting to make it through my four years as quickly and as uninvolved as possible. At the time I knew I was bound for greater things and, upon graduating, would never go back to high school again. Besides, as a teacher I’d actually have to get up in front of a roomful of people and talk to them – the idea of public speaking scared me to death (life’s little ironies). But I couldn’t shake the memory of that kid, and the thought of sharing my passion for literature and writing began to grow from there. I talked with my fiancé and my parents about what was going on in my head, and eventually made my decision. And so, seven months into my seminary education, I packed up my stuff and made my way back to College Station to get my teaching certification.

I have never regretted that decision, nor have I regretted the path it took me to get there. It is struggles that strengthen our character, successes that shape our hearts. Our God, our families, our friends, advise us, support us, and even carry us at times. These people and times are often easy to identify and appreciate. Your first job, the person you marry, the children you might have; all play an integral role in determining the person you will be, the life you lead. But equally as important are the seemingly random happenings that speak to us and guide our paths. A complete stranger changed my life, and I am pleased to say helped guide me to a profession, and students, that I dearly love.

It’s no secret to those who have been in my classroom that I am a fan of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. And Mark Twain. And Anthrax. In ending this address I’ve been tempted to throw in something from each of them. But I think a passage from Tolkien is the most appropriate on this occasion. In The Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo tells Frodo that “It’s a dangerous business going out of your door. You step into the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

There is no knowing where our Roads will take us – that’s both the joy and risk we face in walking them. The Roads we travel are never alike – some are more direct than others, some more difficult. In the end, though, our travels change all of us.

Revel in that change.

Congratulations, A&M Consolidated, Class of 2006.

Post Forty-Eight: Whose Side Are You On?

Post Forty-Seven: The NSA Database

Seems to me that trial lawyers should love the Bush administration. Class actions have already been filed for violations of the Telecommunications Privacy Act due to the NSA's compilation of a list of phone numbers coming to and from cell phones. It is my understanding that under the Act, there is a $1000 per customer statutory fine for violations. So if a cell phone service provider has 10 million customers, damages could total approximately $10,000,000,000.00. That's TEN BILLION DOLLARS.

Some lawyers are going to get very rich on this (unless Congress steps in and immunizes the companies for complying with the government's request). But I think I'm probably going to opt out of the class action (assuming I eventually receive a class action notice) since I support the government's action in this matter.

Also, it is notable that while Qwest was the only cell phone service provider who didn't comply with the government's request for the list, the Qwest corporate counsel that made the decision is facing fraud and insider trading charges. Probably irrelevant, but notable.

Post Forty-Six: Bad basketball analogy

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, the out-of-state partner came to berate the associates about their billable hours (he also showed us the plans for the new space, but that's beside the point).

Well, this partner told us associates a story about Scottie Pippen to motivate us. "I want you to be the ones to step up . . . to be willing to take the final shot." As he told the story, Phil Jackson drew up a play in the playoffs with 2 seconds left against the Knicks, a play that had Pippen taking the last shot. Again, as the partner told it, Pippen refused to take the shot, and sat down on the bench. And that is why he "hates Pippen" to this day, and has no respect for him at all.

Well, I know and (I presume) you know that's just not right. Pippen sat on the bench because he WANTED the shot, but Jackson had drawn it up for Kucoc. Not exactly a "team" kind of attitude, but the truth kind of defeats the whole moral of the partner's story, huh?

Nonetheless, I don't think I'll be calling the partner on his error (or bullshit, as it were). I'm just going to sum this up to "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story."

Post Forty-Five: Associates Meeting

Well, here it comes. The partner from out-of-state is in town and wants to have a meeting with all of us associates.

[insert ominous theme music here]

Don't know quite what to expect, although two possibilities are being thrown about. First, and more likely, it could be a lecture on our hours. I've heard that associates' hours haven't been quite up to snuff the last couple of months, so his coming here to basically tell us to bill more, or else, is almost certain.

Well, this should be fun. [sarcasm mode off] My hours haven't been what I usually expect of myself (but not as bad as others' apparently), but in my defense, I had one trial "stolen" from me by a partner in March, and another trial scheduled for the last two weeks of April that was bumped back to August. Plus, if you look at a calender, April was a "short" month, in that fewer days fell on weekdays (more weekend time). Of course, this only flies if you accept the notion that weekends are not generally "workdays."

I don't think I'll be raising this point at the meeting.

The second possibility, and one that would be much more pleasant, would be the official announcement that we're going to be moving offices next month. The out-of-state partner likes making such "feel-good" announcements in person, but I don't know if he'd bother since he doesn't office here full-time. Seems another of the partners could take care of this him/herself.

The out-of-state partner did "mind-fuck" with one of the baby-associates, telling him that he was the specific reason he was here. We'll see how this whole thing plays out.

Post Forty-Four: CDs and Comics

Sitting on my desk here in my office is a stack of CDs that I just haven't had the time to listen to (it doesn't help that the CD player in my car is fucked, as it won't play, accept, or reject CD's (it's really a bitch because System of a Down's latest and the second disc from Iggy Pop's greatest hits are stuck inside)). So I'm probably going to turn off the Ticket (www.theticket.com) and try to listen to a few over the course of the day, maybe post some reviews. However, here's the list, just in case you're interested:

Pearl Jam, Pearl Jam: I've just heard "World Wide Suicide," and the song is really growing on me. Hopefully, the rest of the album excels. I'm a member of the Ten Club, so I've also got a bonus disc with their live New Year's Eve show in 1992. I enjoy these perks.

Buckcherry, 15: I've given this one a listen, and it's not too bad. The high point is, at this point, "Crazy Bitch." That riff is swee-eeet. I also have their Time Bomb album that I picked up on e-bay.

Rob Zombie, Educated Horses: Rob Zombie is one of those artists that has earned a pass from me, meaning I'll pick up their new album without having heard anything. It was borderline, though, as I wasn't terribly crazy about his last one. We'll see if he stays on the list.

The Sword, Age of Winters: Picked up this album based on the strength of "Iron Swan" (thanks, Sirius!). I'm looking forward to hearing what this band can do over the length of the album, so I'll probably put this one in first.

Ministry, Rio Grande Blood: Again, another band that has earned a pass, and I really liked their last one, Houses of the Mole. However, judging by the cover, it looks like Al Jourgenson's anti-Bush screeding is going to get tiresome.

Rebel Meets Rebel, Rebel Meets Rebel: The Cowboys from Hell meet David Allan Coe project. God rest Dimebag's soul. I really enjoy "Nothing to Lose," so I'm hoping the album stays in the same vein.

Tool, 10,000 Days: I have pretty high expectations for this one, but it would be pretty hard to top Aenima. That was seen by Lateralus, which suffered by comparison (although it did have its high points).

Moving on . . .

New comic day, today! And Marvel's Civil War starts up. Gads, I've been so looking forward to this, as I'm somewhat convinced that Thor is going to return to put an end to the petty bickering amongst the "human" super heroes. The last two issues of Fantastic Four are now two of my favorite books, but I'm a huge Thor fan-boy so I may be slightly biased.

Other issues I'm picking up today:

Doc Samson #5: Is this limited series over yet? I've always kind of liked Doc Samson, but this LS I suckered into has been close-to unbearable. But of course I'm going to finish it out.

Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman #8: Hoping this has a Civil War tie-in, but it's looking like they're going to concentrate on the return of Uncle Ben (riii-iiight). The only question really is who is impersonating him. Plus Hobgoblin is going to return. I've been out a while: is the Jack-O-Lantern still wearing that costume?

Infinite Crisis #7: The DC Universe is fucked up. Confusing as shit (how many Supermans do you really friggin' need?). I hope that this culminates in the existence of a sole world from which DC will work, but I think that's too much to ask for.