Post One Hundred Sixty Nine: My visit to the urologist
My wife was in New York last week, leaving me in charge of the kids. Wednesday a.m., one of my dogs jumped up on me resulting in a glancing blow to my balls. Nothing serious, but I did notice it. Fast forward to the end of the day: I've put the kids to bed and am sitting around catching up with whatever was on the DVR. Regardless, I start to notice that my left testicle is a bit sore. So I go ahead and perform a self-examination of sorts.
And I find a lump.
Nice, huh? Just fucking great. I don't get oral cancer for the 18 years I dipped but at age 38, BAM!, there it is.
Considerably freaked out, I figure the best thing to do is to ignore it. No, not really: first thing Thursday morning got on the phone with the urologist who performed my vasectomy. Conveniently, he squeezed me in for an appointment that afternoon. There, I have a fun exam, and he flat out tells me that it is exceedingly unlikely that it's cancer but instead an infection of some sort or a cyst.
Who would have ever thought that the thought of a cyst on one's testicle would be a relief?
Nonetheless, he put me on an antibiotic and I was scheduled for an ultrasound the next day for confirmation purposes. That was all kinds of fun. Not only was the ultrasound tech (doctor?) female, she was kind of cute. Considering the area of my body that she was performing the ultrasound on, I would have thought that I would be worried that an uncomfortable/untoward situation could develop.
Yeah, turns out that's not an issue when you're concerned that you might have testicular cancer. I spent the duration of the exam staring at the clock over my head trying my best to control it with the powers of my mind. I was informed during the exam that the lump was most likely a "hydrocele" (a slight buildup of fluid, i.e., not a solid mass) that is actually quite common. Per my doctor, we don't do anything about it unless it starts to really bother me. I'm not exactly sure what that involves, but it probably involves a needle in my nether regions.
I'm probably going to tough this one out.
And I find a lump.
Nice, huh? Just fucking great. I don't get oral cancer for the 18 years I dipped but at age 38, BAM!, there it is.
Considerably freaked out, I figure the best thing to do is to ignore it. No, not really: first thing Thursday morning got on the phone with the urologist who performed my vasectomy. Conveniently, he squeezed me in for an appointment that afternoon. There, I have a fun exam, and he flat out tells me that it is exceedingly unlikely that it's cancer but instead an infection of some sort or a cyst.
Who would have ever thought that the thought of a cyst on one's testicle would be a relief?
Nonetheless, he put me on an antibiotic and I was scheduled for an ultrasound the next day for confirmation purposes. That was all kinds of fun. Not only was the ultrasound tech (doctor?) female, she was kind of cute. Considering the area of my body that she was performing the ultrasound on, I would have thought that I would be worried that an uncomfortable/untoward situation could develop.
Yeah, turns out that's not an issue when you're concerned that you might have testicular cancer. I spent the duration of the exam staring at the clock over my head trying my best to control it with the powers of my mind. I was informed during the exam that the lump was most likely a "hydrocele" (a slight buildup of fluid, i.e., not a solid mass) that is actually quite common. Per my doctor, we don't do anything about it unless it starts to really bother me. I'm not exactly sure what that involves, but it probably involves a needle in my nether regions.
I'm probably going to tough this one out.
posted by Juggernaut at
5:28 PM
1 Comments
