Post One Hundred Seventy One: Any string of expletives would be appropriate right about now

So my wife is off to Asia. Again.

(As an aside, anyone else notice how many of these posts start out this way?)

Anyway, earlier this week (prior to her leaving) I came home from work and proceeded to walk across the living room floor when I damn near tripped over a huge bowing in our 1 year and 4 month old hardwood floors. I had to be in some state of shock as I did not immediately lose my shit and start dog-cussing everyone in spitting distance. This actually worked out in my favor since I managed to keep it together and call the floor guys to let them know the problem. "Marvin" agreed to come out today and take a look at it.

Of course, this was the day after my wife left for China. So once again I get to deal with the kids, school, the dogs, work, drive times, soccer games, the kids' guests, church, etc., and now tack on to that business-hour appointments at the house.

I think she plans this shit.

Regardless, I just finished prepping the letter to the Mrs. regarding the inspection conducted this a.m., which I share with you now:

Might want to brace yourself.

First off, it does not appear to be an installation or materials problem. Not that that it would have been covered since all we have is a one year warranty. [ed.: ONE YEAR AND FOUR MONTHS AGO!!!]

Marvin came this morning and did some moisture readings. That area of the floor is pretty “wet”, relatively speaking, which resulted in the bowing. He ripped up boards and I could put my hand on the glue/barrier and feel the dampness, kind of like condensation. The problem is, we have no idea where the water is coming from. There are no pipes in the walls in the vicinity (that I know of) and other areas tested okay (i.e., my room and the kitchen). Above that area is the computer room: again, no water source.

Marvin’s crew is coming back out tomorrow between 9 and 10 (Dad is coming over early tomorrow to be there to let them in/observe since I’ll be in Abilene) to tear up the necessary portion of the floor to prevent spreading (I suppose pulling up portions of the floor allows the wet areas to dry out some). They will also be bringing a plumber to determine the source of the leak (the most important issue).

I have called [our home insurer] to report this. Our deductible is $8700+ so this will likely (hopefully) be all on us. There is a (worst case) scenario that there is a leak in a pipe in the slab. That will get expensive, although [our insurer] says to ask about re-routing the pipe as opposed to drilling into the slab. Worst of all, it will in 99% likelihood not be covered since the wear and tear is not covered; basically, the only coverage for such a pipe leak would be if it burst due to a freeze.

You know, you have a real knack for going on these trips at opportune times.