Post One Hundred Eighty Three: Perspective

Christmas was what I expected. My gifts largely sucked compared to what I got my wife, and I was my typical self at not being very good about just putting on a happy face about it.

I know: at least I got gift(s)! Well, yes. My family is not undergoing or preparing for any major purchases, house renovations, or the like, so we are fortunate enough to be in a position to presumably get each other nice things for Christmas. But based on my gifts, I have to guess that my wife REALLY doesn't know me.

I will qualify this by saying that I didn't have a great Christmas list prepared for her (although there are various items on my Amazon list that I would have been happier with) but let's compare what we received this year. To make it interesting, I'll limit her list to what I got her, while my list will include everything she and her family got me.

My wife's gifts:

1. 32 GB iPod Touch
2. Brighton jewelry: necklace and earrings
3. An expensive purse from Anthropologie
4. Michael Kors women's watch
5. Premium coffee maker
6. Dallas Cowboys shirt
7. Amusing t-shirt
8. Undergrad license plate frame

And here are mine (gifts from the wife are asterisked):

1. *North Face jacket. While it's a nice jacket, I live in Texas. I will likely wear this 3 times a year.
2. *Nike ID gift card with workout outfit. I am supposed to use the gift card to design a personalized pair of tennis shoes. Apparently my wife thinks I am 18 years old and black. I suppose it's a neat idea but how much attention have I ever paid to tennis shoes?
3. *Storage box for my watches. This was actually very practical, but probably owed more to my wife wanting me to stop leaving my watches out on my dresser. Notably: no new watch to accompany the box.
4. A bulldog-face bottle opener from Pottery Barn. It's ugly. I don't know where this was supposed to be mounted. I was going to take it back but the wife kept it (probably because it was on clearance and therefore can't be returned). Judging by the reviews from the link, this may not be a good idea.
5. Beer glasses from Brookstone. I don't know the last time I drank beer from a glass at home. Returned.
6. *A small dog that shoots foam balls up to 20' from Brookstone. Fucking stupid. Returned.
7. The great white shark remote control balloon and helium tank referenced in an earlier post. Returned.
8. Novelty Dallas Cowboys tie. When I wear ties, I do not wear novelty ties. This has been put away on a shelf in my closet.

God bless her, she obviously tried (to an extent). I am just feeling a bit, oh, short-changed. So I am ranting a bit here to hopefully avoid any of this coming out in front of her.

Regardless, hope you all had a good Christmas and have a good New Year's.

Post One Hundred Eighty Two: Decisions

I am debating arranging a fatal accident for my secretary. If life were fair I'd be allowed to kill her outright.

Post One Hundred Eighty One: My Youngest

Sometimes I wonder about my youngest daughter. Take this evening for instance: I put the girls to bed and am sitting down to catch up on American Horror Story and the season finale of Dexter. All of a sudden I hear her whimpering a bit and saying something about "swallowing." I ask her what's wrong, and ask her to repeat it, and she tells me she swallowed something.

Hmm.

I go into her room and inquire as to just what my precious daughter had swallowed. She doesn't really know.

This frustrates me.

Eventually I get it out of her that she swallowed some kind of "shiny bead" that she found on the floor of her room.

My six year old. Picks up something off the floor of her room. Puts it in her mouth.

And swallows it.

Sometimes I feel like there is something not quite right about her. Sigh.

She is of course scared, and is saying she doesn't want to go to the hospital. Given the description (as vague as it is), I tell her it will be okay, that she will likely just poop it out. Obviously, we'll have to watch out for a stomach ache or anything like that, but it doesn't sound like she swallowed any kind of magnet or battery or the like.

Kids.

Post One Hundred Eighty: Christmas

Today, I was helping the Mrs. go through the kids' Christmas presents we've been storing in the guest room. As it happened, there was one box sitting by the bed that I almost stumbled over. I started to pick it up, and my wife all of a sudden started telling me to "Look away! Look away!" Unfortunately for her, I've been reading since I was about five years old and have gotten pretty good at it.

What I stumbled over was a box containing a small helium tank that is apparently to be used to fill balloons (which are "Not Included"!). Per my wife, this is a gift from my brother- and sister-in-law.

A helium balloon tank. What fucking fresh hell is this?

I have no idea what they are thinking. I do not think I've ever exhibited any signs of having a balloon fetish, or otherwise demonstrated myself to be a big fan of balloons. As a matter of fact, I'm the one who inevitably destroys the kids' balloons because I get tired of them floating around after being tied to a chair and forgotten.

I am willing to bet my in-laws got me some damn remote control shark balloon that you can find in the Brookstone or "What on Earth" catalog. Great, something that I'll play with once (maybe), then put away and constantly have to move out of the way as I dig through whatever closet it inevitably gets pushed to the back of.

I am getting a bad feeling about my Christmas. My wife has said she had some "great ideas" for my gifts; given the fact that I didn't have a list prepared, I have no idea what I'm getting for Christmas. Of course, my wife will make out like a bandit. So I'm faced with the distinct possibility that my Christmas gifts are going to bite, but I'll have to put on a happy face because my wife seems very pleased with herself. And I'm not great at that.

Yeah, this comes off as a selfish post, but so what? It's my blog and I'll bitch if I want to.

Post One Hundred Seventy Nine: Still good

Work has been kicking my ass, but still not dipping. I'm pretty happy with myself. I think I'll reward myself with a can of dip.

/joking, joking

Post One Hundred Seventy Eight: Over a week done

Over a week into my quit-phase, and still dip-free. Was looking at a site to find out what to expect symptom-wise, and found the following list of what you can expect for days 4-20:

Cravings

Irritability

Insomnia

Fatigue

Inability to Concentrate

Headache

Sore throat

Constipation, gas, stomach pain

Dry mouth

Sore tongue and/or gums

Let's see: I've had the occasional craving, but these typically come when I'm bored. Also had a dry mouth when I wake up, but that is hardly new. My tongue feels sensitive at times, too. Other than that, can't say I've noticed a lot of ill effects. Probably helps that I've been quite preoccupied with work.

Oh, well. Have to hit the office tomorrow before the Cowboys game. Then El Paso on Monday and Kansas City on Wednesday.

Post One Hundred Seventy Seven: Weekend test

Went hunting this weekend with my dad and brothers this weekend, and a good time was had by all. I shot a spike, as did my twin brother, and my little brother got two small hogs. Funny: I didn't see any pigs at all.

Yes, there were times I wanted a dip, mainly when I was alone in a blind, but they were fleeting. Hardest point came when another hunter was hanging out, talking to us, and he pulled out the can of Copenhagen. My twin looked at me, I hung my head a bit, but otherwise all was good.

Busy couple of days the next two days: in El Paso then Austin. Won't have time to take a dip, so it's a good thing.

Post One Hundred Seventy Six: Last dream of the morning

In the last dream I had this morning before waking up, I had a dip in. I remember realizing that it was in there, wondering where the hell it came from (since I had not bought a can), and flinging it out of my mouth. Then I woke up with a start.

Fortunately, this dream did nothing to make me want a dip. To the contrary, I had a bad taste in my mouth and felt like I had bit my lower lip. Really glad I'm quitting.

Post One Hundred Seventy Five: Itching

Close to a day into quitting and I occasionally get an "itch" for a dip. But then I realize that 1) I don't have any dip; and 2) I'd have to go get a can; and 3) I really don't want to dip anymore.

Seems like this blog should help. Kind of a reinforcement mechanism.

Post One Hundred Seventy Four: Once Again

I have quit dipping. Again. What a pain in the ass this is.

I've decided to use this blog as a means of venting any frustration I am having with getting over this nicotine addiction. For example, I just ate the breakfast special from across the street and I have to say that putting a dip in would be a nice finishing touch. But two things prevent this: 1) the fact that I have quit again; and 2) my refusal to go buy another can. I figure that if I can just stop myself from doing the latter, I should be able to keep it up this time around.

Regardless, at least I'm writing on this blog (unlike my brother and his blog. Writers write, right?)