Post One Hundred Sixty Four: My Vasectomy
Damn, over a year since my last post. I'm going to chalk it up to 1) depression over what they did to Deadpool in the Wolverine movie (see my last post) and 2) general malaise regarding blogging here. I'm sure it was more the former.
Anyway, something interesting to write about: on Friday I had a vasectomy. My wife and I are done having kids; given this, there is really no reason for her to have to deal with the birth control issue. I mean, she has a bad day or fails to renew a prescription, and the door is left wide open to another pregnancy or, God forbid, my having to use condoms for a month. {shudder}
I set up the appointment about six weeks ago and really never got worked up about it. I've had several friends who have had vasectomies and all have said it wasn't a big deal and didn't change anything about sex. So I was encouraged by their experiences.
As for the procedure itself, not too bad. The worst part was the anesthetic. My doc (who was great) used a non-needle method that took six separate injections. I didn't see the device but I imagine it was something like they use in Star Trek. Each "shot" felt like a rubber band was being snapped against my scrotum (this was how my doc described it would feel and it was a very apt description), three on each side. The fourth one was the worst as it felt like a glancing blow against my left testicle. I let loose a little groan and my doc told me that was "always" the worst one but I kind of think he was bullshitting me.
Regardless, I was quite numb down there by that point. During the procedure I was looking up at the ceiling where a poster was hung that read "RELAX" followed by some philosophical banter. What caught my attention, however, was the fact that I could see what was going on if I looked in the reflection. That was a bit disconcerting.
My procedure was also a "non-scalpel" vasectomy. Instead of making an incision in the scrotum the doc used a sharp metal instrument (kind of like a leather punch since I think that sounds funny) to punch a hole in my bag. He then used a cauterizing blade (not really a blade, but whatever) to cut the appropriate tubes. Nothing like the faint smell of burning tissue coupled with a whiff of smoke, especially when it's your tissue. But there was no pain, at least.
Afterwards, I put on the tight briefs that I was instructed to bring with me and was sent on my merry way. The rest of the day I sat in my chair in my man-cave with the Firefly series playing on the TV and a ziplock bag of ice on my jewels. My wife was even being nice to me. I also spent Saturday relaxing, even though I was starting to feel better. Today, I was feeling good enough to mow the lawn and otherwise mosey about normally. There's an occasional dull ache but even that is fading now.
I've been instructed not to lift anything over 30 lbs. for the next five days, but I figure I should be able to make it to the gym for cardio workouts. I also REALLY need to focus on my abs and waist. But as for the vasectomy it was really no big deal.
Anyway, something interesting to write about: on Friday I had a vasectomy. My wife and I are done having kids; given this, there is really no reason for her to have to deal with the birth control issue. I mean, she has a bad day or fails to renew a prescription, and the door is left wide open to another pregnancy or, God forbid, my having to use condoms for a month. {shudder}
I set up the appointment about six weeks ago and really never got worked up about it. I've had several friends who have had vasectomies and all have said it wasn't a big deal and didn't change anything about sex. So I was encouraged by their experiences.
As for the procedure itself, not too bad. The worst part was the anesthetic. My doc (who was great) used a non-needle method that took six separate injections. I didn't see the device but I imagine it was something like they use in Star Trek. Each "shot" felt like a rubber band was being snapped against my scrotum (this was how my doc described it would feel and it was a very apt description), three on each side. The fourth one was the worst as it felt like a glancing blow against my left testicle. I let loose a little groan and my doc told me that was "always" the worst one but I kind of think he was bullshitting me.
Regardless, I was quite numb down there by that point. During the procedure I was looking up at the ceiling where a poster was hung that read "RELAX" followed by some philosophical banter. What caught my attention, however, was the fact that I could see what was going on if I looked in the reflection. That was a bit disconcerting.
My procedure was also a "non-scalpel" vasectomy. Instead of making an incision in the scrotum the doc used a sharp metal instrument (kind of like a leather punch since I think that sounds funny) to punch a hole in my bag. He then used a cauterizing blade (not really a blade, but whatever) to cut the appropriate tubes. Nothing like the faint smell of burning tissue coupled with a whiff of smoke, especially when it's your tissue. But there was no pain, at least.
Afterwards, I put on the tight briefs that I was instructed to bring with me and was sent on my merry way. The rest of the day I sat in my chair in my man-cave with the Firefly series playing on the TV and a ziplock bag of ice on my jewels. My wife was even being nice to me. I also spent Saturday relaxing, even though I was starting to feel better. Today, I was feeling good enough to mow the lawn and otherwise mosey about normally. There's an occasional dull ache but even that is fading now.
I've been instructed not to lift anything over 30 lbs. for the next five days, but I figure I should be able to make it to the gym for cardio workouts. I also REALLY need to focus on my abs and waist. But as for the vasectomy it was really no big deal.
posted by Juggernaut at
12:11 PM
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