Post One Hundred Eighty Eight: Lybia/Egypt/Etc.

The purported basis behind some of these protests and murder has been claimed to be a YouTube video that purportedly slanders Mohammed.

So I am to believe that the only reason these people are attacking our embassies and killing our ambassadors and other US citizens is a video that was 1) not made or endorsed by the United States government; and 2) has not been heard of or seen by 99% of the United States populace prior to 9/11/2012?  If so, then the people attacking the US embassies and murdering our ambassadors are ridiculous morons who do not deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of the world.

But I think we all know that's bullshit.

No, the reason they are attacking our embassies and murdering our ambassadors and other US citizens is because they are attempting to instigate (or continue) a jihad against the US.  This is terroristic religious fundamentalism which would have taken place this 9/11 regardless of the existence of whatever YouTube videos they can now target.  And as above, the people attacking the US embassies and murdering our ambassadors are dangerous religious zealots who do not deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of the world.

Post One Hundred Eighty Seven: Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids is not funny. I got to the plane trip to Vegas and had to turn it off because I had yet to laugh, or even chuckle. I require more from comedies, and I'm not the type of person to pretend otherwise just because a segment of the population thinks there is a shortage of female-driven comedies.

Let me clear something up for everyone: there is not a shortage of female-driven comedies. There is a shortage of funny female comedians.

Post One Hundred Eighty Six: Republican Nominee

Since I allow my wallet to rule my vote, I am likely to cast my ballot for just about whoever the Republican Party puts up as its Presidential nominee.

But there is no way in hell I will ever vote for Rick Santorum.

Post One Hundred Eighty Five: Two Months

How the FUCK has it only been two months since I quit dipping?

Post One Hundred Eighty Four: Wrapping up another two weeks without the wife

This was not a fun two weeks. For the first time since the Mrs. started jaunting around the world as a buyer, I also had some traveling to do. Sure, it was to El Paso and San Antonio, but it created some problems with getting the kids picked up in a timely fashion.

But I'm still not dipping.

Came the closest on Monday after the longest, shittiest day in a long time, as I was standing outside a gas station waiting on my oldest daughter to be delivered by her friend's mom at the chosen drop off spot. I was quite tempted to run in and grab a can, but my being a pretty cheap bastard worked out for me.

So there's that.

Post One Hundred Eighty Three: Perspective

Christmas was what I expected. My gifts largely sucked compared to what I got my wife, and I was my typical self at not being very good about just putting on a happy face about it.

I know: at least I got gift(s)! Well, yes. My family is not undergoing or preparing for any major purchases, house renovations, or the like, so we are fortunate enough to be in a position to presumably get each other nice things for Christmas. But based on my gifts, I have to guess that my wife REALLY doesn't know me.

I will qualify this by saying that I didn't have a great Christmas list prepared for her (although there are various items on my Amazon list that I would have been happier with) but let's compare what we received this year. To make it interesting, I'll limit her list to what I got her, while my list will include everything she and her family got me.

My wife's gifts:

1. 32 GB iPod Touch
2. Brighton jewelry: necklace and earrings
3. An expensive purse from Anthropologie
4. Michael Kors women's watch
5. Premium coffee maker
6. Dallas Cowboys shirt
7. Amusing t-shirt
8. Undergrad license plate frame

And here are mine (gifts from the wife are asterisked):

1. *North Face jacket. While it's a nice jacket, I live in Texas. I will likely wear this 3 times a year.
2. *Nike ID gift card with workout outfit. I am supposed to use the gift card to design a personalized pair of tennis shoes. Apparently my wife thinks I am 18 years old and black. I suppose it's a neat idea but how much attention have I ever paid to tennis shoes?
3. *Storage box for my watches. This was actually very practical, but probably owed more to my wife wanting me to stop leaving my watches out on my dresser. Notably: no new watch to accompany the box.
4. A bulldog-face bottle opener from Pottery Barn. It's ugly. I don't know where this was supposed to be mounted. I was going to take it back but the wife kept it (probably because it was on clearance and therefore can't be returned). Judging by the reviews from the link, this may not be a good idea.
5. Beer glasses from Brookstone. I don't know the last time I drank beer from a glass at home. Returned.
6. *A small dog that shoots foam balls up to 20' from Brookstone. Fucking stupid. Returned.
7. The great white shark remote control balloon and helium tank referenced in an earlier post. Returned.
8. Novelty Dallas Cowboys tie. When I wear ties, I do not wear novelty ties. This has been put away on a shelf in my closet.

God bless her, she obviously tried (to an extent). I am just feeling a bit, oh, short-changed. So I am ranting a bit here to hopefully avoid any of this coming out in front of her.

Regardless, hope you all had a good Christmas and have a good New Year's.

Post One Hundred Eighty Two: Decisions

I am debating arranging a fatal accident for my secretary. If life were fair I'd be allowed to kill her outright.